


What you're made of is what I'm made of too

by wandering_in_imaginary_world



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-21
Updated: 2014-07-21
Packaged: 2018-02-09 18:04:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1992567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wandering_in_imaginary_world/pseuds/wandering_in_imaginary_world
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Returning to life slowly after facing death and loss.<br/>After season 2, a very short glance at Kieren and Simon's life. Kieren's body is alive again. But what about Simon's?</p>
            </blockquote>





	What you're made of is what I'm made of too

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language so...sorry if it sounds weird sometimes. Oh, and I suck at summaries, I know.  
> I just wanted to try and see how things were going for those two lovely guys.  
> The title comes from the song Sights, from London Grammar.

Kieren is looking at the photograph of Simon and his mother. Simon never talks about his family, about what happened. He rarely talks about what he did. A bit embarrassed at the sight of this vanished happiness, Kieren puts the photograph back in the drawer. But when he lifts his gaze, he sees Simon looking at him from the door frame. His arms are crossed on his chest. How long has he been watching?

“Simon. Sorry, I just…”

“No, it's okay, don't worry.”

Kieren pushes the drawer gently and closes it.

“I was looking for a scarf.”

“Mine ?” asks Simon with his usual charming smile.

“Well...yeah.”

Embarrassed again, Kieren clears his throat and proceeds to the hallway. Simon stops him with a gentle hand on his arm.

“You're not curious?”

“About what?”

“What happened.”

“You told me what happened, there's nothing more I want to know about it. Don't bring back unnecessary painful memories, I don't want to impose this on you.”

“I wouldn't mind telling more to you.”

Kieren is not really prepared to hear more than he already knows but he feels that Simon needs to talk. It's not the first time Simon tries to talk to him, not the first time he tries to bring back the past. But Kieren is not ready to hear how much Simon suffered, how he had to fight against life and death at the same time.

They stare at each other a moment, hundreds of unsaid words floating between them. They know how it works, they doesn’t really need to talk, they know each other.

“We should get ready.” says Kieren while walking away from the room.

“Cancel it.”

“What?”

“Call them and tell them we’re not coming.”

“But…”

“Please, Kieren.”

 **** _Oh. That’s new_. Simon rarely begs like that and Kieren knows there’s something he doesn’t tell him. The photograph… It wasn’t there by chance, and Simon didn’t put it here thinking it was hidden. He wanted Kieren to see it.

“Simon… Does…” He hesitates for a second. “Does seeing my family annoy you? Well, no, that’s not... I know you lost your mother, and your father…well… I know it must be hard for you to see my family, my parents.”

“Now Amy’s not here anymore, you’re the only family I’ve got, Kieren. You’re the only person left who really counts in my life. The Undead Prophet… it was not the same. You gave me some of the missing pieces of who I am. You even saw through me right from the start!”

Simon smiles but it fades away as he walks toward Kieren. He slowly rises a hand and touches Kieren’s cheek with his fingertips.

“But I’m losing you.”

“Oh, come on Simon, you’re not losing me. I’m… I’m just alive! My heart beats, my blood flows, I...I can feel things and stuff. You’re not losing me at all. I don’t know what’s going on in your head but whatever you’re thinking, this is bullshit. I’m here, right here, and it won’t change.”

Kieren sighs nervously and pulls Simon in a hug, patting on his back like a father with his son.

“Stop imagining things. If you’re feeling insecure about anything, talk to me, don’t start jumping to conclusions like that.”

They share a kiss and Kieren looks Simon in the eyes.

“I'll call them and say it's not the right time for us to come over for diner. I'm not sure of what they'll think but who cares, hm?”

“Thank you. Sorry, Kieren, I know you love your family and…”

“But I care about you too, and I chose to be with you. So if I can do anything to help you and ease your mind, you know I'll do it.” Kieren let his hands slide along Simon’s arms and takes his hands briefly. “Now come, I'm getting hungry and there's this frozen pizza waiting for me in the freezer and I’m sure it’s so awful that I’ll definitely love it!”

Kieren heads for the kitchen then turns to see if Simon is following him but he’s alone.

“Simon?”

Slow steps are coming toward the kitchen and Simon appears, a hand on his nose. Kieren can see the different feelings passing on Simon's face. Joy, fear, awe, and finally, he sees the black blood.

“Simon! God, Simon, you...you’re changing!”

“Am I? Am I?!”

Behind his bangs, Simon looks anxious, more than he should be. He witnessed Kieren’s body coming back to life, he knows what is happening but still can’t believe it.

“I’m not ready, Kieren. I’m not ready yet.”

“Of course you are, don’t be silly. And everything will be great, and you will live and… Hey, we will eat awful pizzas together, and drink cheap wine on the sofa, and you’ll wear cologne that I’ll probably hate but since you’ll love it I’ll end up liking it too. Simon, it’s okay. We’re okay.”

Simon nods slowly, trying to accept his fate.

“Come, rest on the sofa.” The young man pulls his lover gently to the other room. “Oh but does that mean you don’t need the neurotriptyline?”

“I can’t skip my daily dose.”

“I know but it could be painful. We know the effects of the neurotriptyline in this situation.”

“I’ll do it.”

Simon heads for the kitchen but Kieren stops him halfway.

“No, I can take care of it.” says the younger man resolutely. “Just...Please don’t freak out.”

“I won’t. You will.”

“I won’t!”

Simon wipes his nose and smiles. Everything is happening too fast, too early. He’s not sure to be able to be like before, everything before his death was painful and difficult, everything was dark. Now, it’s easier and beautiful with this boy by his side but demons await, crouching in the darkness. The strength Kieren gives him couldn’t be replaced, never. If it were to fail him…

The young man comes back from the kitchen and sits behind Simon.

“Don’t move.”

“I never move.”

“I know. But don’t move. I mean...you can lean on me if you want. Shit, my hands are trembling, I’m too excited.”

Kieren puts the injector in the hole on the back of Simon but pauses.

“Wait, Simon. Your hands, they never shook before.”

A long silence falls between them. Kieren stands and faces Simon.

“I can’t believe it! You hid it from me! How long? When did it start?!”

“Some days ago.” Simon is clearly not at ease. “At first I wasn’t sure, I didn’t want to alarm you.”

“Oh, yes, because it’s clearly something you would hide from me to not _alarm me_. For God’s sake, Simon, you can’t hide me this kind of thing. And I was giving you neurotriptyline everyday as if nothing could happen. You know what? I’m not giving you your dose.”

“We can’t do that. What if I turn rabid?”

“Yeah, “what if”. Maybe you won’t, like I didn’t turn rabid. And if you were to turn rabid, I’ll handle it. I already did it, with Freddie.”

“No, Kieren. Give me the injector. I can take the pain. Trust me.”

“It’s not a matter of trust, don’t think I can’t trust you.” Kieren looks at the injector and gives it to Simon. “Shit.”

Simon is trying to find the hole on his back and pulls the trigger. The reaction is immediate, his muscles stiffen violently, tearing what remains inside of his body, he’s convulsing. Kieren rushes to his side, gripping him tightly.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Listen to my voice, Simon, it’s okay.”

The tense body relaxes slowly and Simon’s hands find the fabric of Kieren’s shirt, hanging onto him, trembling. They stay a long moment in silence on the sofa, Kieren holding Simon in his arms. It’s not really a hug nor affectionate, Kieren just wants to be sure everything is under control, in his hands.

“You can let me go.” says Simon after a moment. “I’m feeling good now.”

“You sure?”

“Yes I am.”

Kieren hesitates but lets the man go. They sit and Kieren lets out a long sigh.

“Don’t do that again.”

“I know but I’m not sure to have the choice.”

“We could go see…”

“No. No doctor, no hospital. I just need time and...you. Understood?”

“Yeah, yeah.” But he won’t give up. “Though we’ll have to do something for your back. You know you won’t be able to stay like that.”

Simon doesn’t say anything, he knows what will happen if he refuses any medical help.

Kieren puts the injector away and leans on Simon to kiss him. Simon puts a hand in the neck of the boy, keeping him close to him. He sighs as he can feel some waves of heat flowing on his face, heat from Kieren’s skin, he can feel it in his mouth, filling him slowly, on the back of his neck as his lover caresses him gently, his fingers slipping in his hair. It’s not really there but he can feel it and it’s intoxicating.

Kieren smiles, just a little curve of his lips.

“I can’t wait.”

“For what?” Simon asks, whispering.

“For you to feel again.”

“I already start to feel, and you feel amazing.”

Kieren’s brown eyes meet Simon’s as white as the first snow. His skin is already less pale, his lips are softer and his breath heavier. He’s distilling life.

 


End file.
